A Book of Light — When a Loved One Has a Different Mind
Jerry Pinto’s curation of stories isn’t about the person with mental health problems but about the people who faced their loved one struggling with it.
The subtitle itself defines the nature of the book, ‘when a loved one has a different mind’. A collection of 13 stories of such humans who have lived with a loved one possessing a different mind. The editor of the book Jerry Pinto himself has shared his experience of living with his mother who was bipolar in his debut novel, Em and the Big Hoom. After reading his debut work, some of his readers shared their stories with Jerry and then agreed to share them with the world. Hence, was created ‘A book of light’.
I started this book on personal interest, my interest & history in psychology. Many people come up and say it’s so easy for people with such history to come out and play the victim card and to be honest, it does work in making some of us guilty whenever we wish to share. But in reality, it isn’t easy. It’s not hard either because if it was then there would have been a way to find a way to get it done. How do I put it… It’s actually suffocating, choking, anxious, panicking, and shaking when we come out to share our word because we know the world we are opening up to isn’t entirely accepting and encouraging (and this also takes our near and dear ones too), they are a mix of all that’s why they are scary. (Reason why I always say that humans are scary hence I am scared of every single one of them alive including myself)
At first, I thought that this happens with just me, (this is before I found a term) then I thought that this only happens to people similar to me (in age, style, and personality), but then I found out that this can and happens with anyone and that made me sad. Trust me, the first two points didn’t make me feel sad or any such emotions but the last one made me sad. Thinking about why others go through what I am going through, let me have it alone at least seeing someone happy gives me 5 secs of happiness. Maybe I am used to it? No, it’s because I am comfortable in it now. This state, I am used to it so I am no longer bothered with what it brings to me except for the time it’s too much to handle (but those are rare moments), but I don’t wish to see others going through what I am going through and worse than that.
A big disadvantage of having this state of mind is when you are also a writer or an artist. I mean, we live in a small world where people know you and if they are smart (which my surrounding is) it’s easier for them to realize what you are going through just by reading or seeing your artwork. It’s not an issue to being found out but then there are people who’d ask about your state for their amusement. Or you’d be questioned about it in public, family gatherings which makes it extremely uncomfortable coz it’s the last place you’d like to be asked about it (especially if you hail from an Indian family). Not bad mouthing India or my Family, just stating that India still needs to accept that mental health is also important as regular health check-ups are and some of my family members (relatives) need to learn to deal with such topics with sensitivity.
I choose art as my medium to express because my surrounding is smart to get my state but insensitive to address and care for it properly, which later just ends up breaking me down. My surrounding is also lazy to revert back on my write-ups as it takes too much of their time and energy so I am happy with expressing myself with my art even tho there’s no one at the end to perceive it. I am able to express myself and it’s more than enough for me.
