Cosmos
“You are a Cosmos flower and it’s winter now.
Wait until spring & you will bloom beautifully…”
I came across this line a few months back in a series. The character who said this meant it for her granddaughter, finding it hard to make her ends meet. She tells her that she’s like a Cosmos flower in winter (stuck in the wrong situation), for her to bloom fully she need to wait for her season (the right time), her spring.
Flowers can only bloom when meeting their right season, isn’t that the law of nature? There’s a process of how they grow, bloom, and wither. The same goes for us, humans. We too, do have a process of how we grow, mature, and then wither. Every step of this process happens with the right season and not when we wish to. It can’t be controlled.
The same is also for relationships. They grow deep and strong with their time, the moment we wish to rush things up in it, it becomes hard for it to bear that sudden rush and will end up getting all distant, hollow, and emotionless. All you can do with that is either fight or regret. Blame each other for this cause but the reality is that you both are responsible for it. Even if you never wanted to rush it but the other one wanted to, still you are a part of it because you couldn’t make them stop it. Still, you will blame each other for it than seeing your own fault.
But… I don’t want to play the blame game today. I am too tired for that, spent all my energy in this relationship which we tried to grow in the wrong season. Today, I just want to end it and leave. Yes, that is what I will be doing today. Getting ready, putting on my favorite dress and lip color for the last time for this relationship and its other end holder. Just this last time. I don’t mind taking the blame either, if that helps to end it sooner then I will take it. It’s not like it’s false blame, I too am responsible for the current state of our relationship.
But… will my other end holder be here today? Or will just run away without ending it properly?
It’s been thirty-three minutes since I have entered this café. Waiting.
I saw a lot of people entering and leaving the premises since my arrival, lots of faces sitting on the table next to me or the opposite side of me, asking for my orders but not the ones I have been waiting for. I wonder how long will this wait be.
One hour two minutes. Got 3 refills of coffee, 2 pastries and listened up to somewhat more than 20 songs by now. Still waiting.
I have to say, the owner of this café got a unique taste in music. The playlist isn’t consistent, it started with a Hindi song then, an English one, a Korean, I guess there was Spanish too, then a Rajasthani, and then Hindi again. I do feel like I forgot a lot of languages due to my lack of understanding of them but yeah, at a point it felt bizarre. And I wasn’t the only one who found it weird, the other customers were in sync with my thoughts but the owner made sure to enjoy his unique playlist. I wonder if he understood them all too.
It’s about time for the café to close now. With a bill of Rs. 726 ($10 approx) in my hand I finally left from the main door, both the empty café and my hollow relationship on my own. The person I waited for never made it to our appointment, not for today at least. Not that I wasn’t prepared for it. So, I decided to leave, for once and for all.
In this peak summer, I feel winter around me.
Maybe, it’s time for me to find ‘my’ right season.
After all, I am a human who too can bloom beautifully as flowers do.
Just like Cosmos do.
