I Quit!
This story talks about a 19- year-old numb Aditi who’s ready to quit…
It’s 7 pm and dark outside as Aditi climbs up the stairs to her home. She resides on the eleventh floor of a twelve storey building. Aditi usually prefers using stairs over lift, feeling that its the only exercise she can do in her entire life.
She reaches her door-step and observes a 7 number men’s sandles outside and whisper’s to herself in an emotionless voice, “Dad’s home already!” and rings the doorbell. As soon as she does that, she notices the nameplate near the doorbell but it still doesn’t ignite any such hearty emotions. Soon the door clicks and Aditi sees her father.
“Welcome back Aditi!” her father welcomed cheerfully
“Hey.” Aditi replied with the same expression in the voice and marched towards her when her father asked her
“So, did the paint brush got lucky? Or your notepad?” he had a really warm nature
“No.”
“Ohh! Not a problem, that happens but maybe you should just start doing it, be it just a scribble only but still, go for it who knows maybe you get a really beautiful idea to pain for next weeks competition!” her father explained her calmly
“Yeah.” Aditi replied who still wasn’t interested in the talk, she just wanted to lock herself in her room
“What yeah?” her mother’s voice came in from the kitchen but it wasn’t like her father’s, more in a taunting way
“What yeah? It’s almost been two to three months and you haven’t done anything, you don’t draw or pain or anything else but you want to be world famous artist huh!” she said this to Aditi and turned towards her husband and continued
“I had told you earlier that these sort of things are just for hobby and nothing else, I told you to put her into science or math, make her an engineer, doctor or an architect? People draw in that field as well but you never listened to me and you are still not!” she said and stayed there for a second and went inside her room
By the way the last line wasn’t false, Aditi’s father actually didn’t pay any attention to a single word his wife blabbered because he was pretty happy and proud of his decision. The reason behind his wife’s return wasn’t the silence but was the proud and happy face which didn’t failed to defeat her again.
As soon as this ended Aditi’s father gave her (Aditi) a smile but our deadbody like Aditi just ignored it and went inside her room throwing her bag one side and locked herself in her castle. Aditi then changed into something much more comfortable than those pair of jeans and sweaty-smelly t-shirt and sat by her study table where her blank untouched canvas and paints were kept. She stared them for some time, picked up the brush, held it for a while then placed it back where it was and looked around her room with a flex as if in eager search for something.
Now, Aditi’s room is something which isn’t you would be expecting from a girlish girl! It’s a bit organised yet disorganized at the same time. A postcard patterned beanbag, bed, a cupboard, bookshelf, dressing table and that study table, that’s all we can see in the furniture part where the walls are filled with paintings and sketches signed as Aditi; and just one poster she made herself when she was in class 8th which had just one word on it, “Attaversiamo” an Italian word for the term “Lets Cross Over!”.
So, as she had a 360 degree view of her room, her eyes landed on the only soft toy in that place, squeezed under a bundle of clothes on the beanbag and there mates, just there we notice something really rare in Aditi’s expression — “a smile”!
“Hey Shawn the sheep!” Aditi said as she rescued the stuff toy and placed it on the her study table keeping the canvas and the paint equipments aside
“How you doin? I know you can’t speak and purpose behind giving you to me was to remember that idiot “Best friend” of mine even after he’s off chilling AND studying in America. You know what Shawn, it’s working, it always works for every single day since he went away it worked but what’s the point of remembering him when he doesn’t have a single second of time to take out time to call or even message me! I get that it’s a new place, it takes time to adjust and all and all. Ok even the timezone is also understandable but, still not even a message? I think the last word we had over the text was around 3 or 4 months ago and that was also just the word actually.” Aditi flushed out her feelings in front of that stuff toy which was for her, the only one, the only friend she could talk to! She took a deep breath and wiped off her tears before it could come out.
“Do you know what happened in the past few months?” she asked her lifeless friend as she just lay her head on the study table, her eyes glued on the friend Shawn
“I will tell you! I got ignored, neglected from my friends for I don’t know what reason but don’t worry, Shweta and Ahana has always been by my side. They loved me blindly and supported me but you know what? I don’t feel that connection I had with them earlier, I still love them, respect them but it feels it still feels kind of lonely even if I am around them! You understand what I am saying? I think you do, you are very wise and quite.” Aditi by now started drawing random patterns on the table for a while. She continued
“Maa isn’t happy with me. I feel she was never since my choice in class 11th of taking arts and humanities, she wanted me to opt for science and have a dream of becoming an engineer or a corporate world queen. So, at least she could introduce me to her society with pride but now I am just a disgrace to her womb!” Aditi took a pause and then recollected her words and said
“Dad supported me, he still does and I feel he will always do but, I feel how long could he handle pain his mind and ears have to bear everyday just because “I” haven’t done anything, I became an average student in last few months from an ‘A+’ to a ‘C’. My canvas is still blank ever since that time, no ideas to paint or draw a comic on. In short, no noting in my life! It’s all blank, be it the canvas or the presence of the people in my life to me.” a tear fell as she said the last line. This time she didn’t wipe it off, instead she gave a faint smile to her Shawn the sheep, still making those random patterns with her fingers.
“You know why it happened so worse by now? Because I choose a wrong step in the beginning. Just because of that, just that single action or surrender I could say — I feel lonely even when people are around, my maa feels dishonored because of me, papa has to go through all this every single day and my canvas remains untouched and white like my life — ‘Empty yet peacefully because of the dead silence.’
JUST BECAUSE OF ME! JUST BECAUSE OF THAT SINGLE STEP OF MINE!” she said and wiped off the tears which ran down through that sleeky road line between her nose and cheeks. She sat properly on the chair again and stood there for a while. Suddenly her expression got mix and she held her Shawn the sheep again in her hand and said
“Now I know what have to do to stop it! I know I can’t alter whatever I did but I can mend that step I do! I am just sharing this with the only friend of mine I don’t feel alone with and it’s you! Shawn, I quit! Yes, and I know this is the only way to mend this and no one, no feeling is stopping me this time. Just wait and what! Aditi complete’s her sentence and searches her desk hurriedly, then drawers, then the cupboard and lastly the dressing table but she isn’t able to find the thing she is deliberately searching for. She her room and rushes to the kitchen fast, opens the drawers and get her hands full of scissors and knifes and then runs back to her room. Aditi’s in such a hurry that this time she forgot to lock her door. She kept the weapons (off course, they feel like one to me now) on her desk and grabbed her bag and takes out a small cute colorful net pouch out of it. She throws her bag back, grabs the scissors from the table and hurried to her washroom. She opened the toilet pot, grabbed out all the cigarettes from that cute pouch, holding it still in her hand she stared it for a second and then said
“You can’t control me, not anymore!” and cut them into half's of half’s inside the toilet pot and flushed them without any second thought
She shifted towards mirror besides her, kept the scissors aside and washed her face properly and then wiped it off with a towel, and those pink lips turned to slight grey. She ran her fingers over her slightly burnt lips and then applied some lip balm over it. Tied up her hairs to a bun and said to herself
“You won’t be blank again!” she bought the scissors and the pouch back to her room and kept them on the desk, and took out the match box out of that “cute pouch” and showed it to her stuffy fluffy friend Shawn.
“You must be wondering why I don’t have a lighter, actually I lost it a few days ago but that’s not the point!” she kept the match box in front of it and continued
“Here, you see this fluffy sheep? I quit the worst action taken by me in a tensed situation!” she said and kept them both aside and placed the canvas where it was at first place. She looked at it for a second and said to herself
“Maybe being blank isn’t meant to bring loneliness to you, maybe it was meant to be that way so you could bring your own colors on it!” and for the first time in 3 months her brush finally got lucky!
Around 5 am in the morning Aditi’s father passed through her room, a bit surprised to see her daughter’s room unlocked and shocked to see her painting at last, with a feeling of happiness he knocked the door, Aditi looked at him but this time with a smile.
“May I come in ma’am?” he asked
“Yes, you can!” Aditi replied with a joy in her voice
Looking at the just signed painting with a space silhouette on a white background, he patted her back with pride and said those three magical words
“Proud of you!”
Aditi who had “The top of the world” feeling after hearing this tried hiding her tears and said
“I… umm titled it as “Lost and Found”!
Aditi’s father looked at the painting for a while, just then suddenly his eyes went on the match box near the stuff toy.
“The title’s perfect on this painting but what is this match doing here on your desk?” her father asked with a concern
As calm as her Shawn the Sheep, she replied
“Your must have dropped in here during her evening aarti’s! Here take it back to her empty pooja thal.” she said handing over the box to him and her father busted out into laughter!
“Over the time Aditi turned out to be a really good comic artist and a painter, and no matter what happens Shawn was always there by her side as her true, quite and wisest friend!
Happy Reading! :)
Image source: Google
